While touring around the southwest African nation of Namibia, Spud found himself in the coastal resort town of Swakopmund. The settlement had not welcomed a North American celebrity of Spud's status since Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt strolled in back in 2006 to pick up one of their many adopted children. As such, groupies and paparazzi followed the tater everywhere.
To
try to dodge the limelight for a moment or two, the tuber ducked into
the Swakopmund Brauhaus, a local brew pub, and grabbed himself a discreet
seat at the far end of the bar. It is there where their eyes first met...
There she stood; quietly solemn behind the glass door of a cooler. Spud's eyes were immediately caught in the gravitational pull of her gaze.
The tater called for the bartender to introduce him to this lovely lady in the shiny green dress.
The burly barkeep opened the cooler door and escorted the mysterious woman over to the waiting potato.
Spud was immediately entranced by her sleek physique. She had no wrinkles and smooth, smooth skin. The tato noted beads of condensation forming on her brow. Obviously she was nervous about meeting such a worldly side dish as himself. Trying to put her at ease, he extended his hand and introduced himself.
She was cold to the tater at first, but over time, Spud's wit and charm eventually won her over and she warmed up to him.
Wendy Windhoek was her name. As their conversation deepened, Spud would also learn that while she was born in Namibia, she had German pedigree with her lineage reaching back to the German brewing purity act of 1567.
Her father was a German brewmaster and as such was very protective of his children. Not wanting her to socialize and get mixed up with anyone with preservatives, her father shielded her away for many years in a case along with her brothers and sisters. She had come of age though, and was finally ready to break out on her own.
Spud noted that her top had not been popped. She was untouched and the tuber hoped he would be the first to sample her treasures.
Wendy was captivated by Spud's many tales of adventure from his years traveling each corner of the globe. As the night wore on, the two drew deeper and deeper into each other's eyes until finally the passion could no longer be contained. Spud took her in his arms and planted a sensual smooch on Wendy's waiting lips
His first taste of her was intoxicating. So much so, that after a few more he was starting to see double. Could this finally be the love Spud had searched for, for so long?
Spud invited his new love to accompany him to explore the Etosha Pan in the northern part of the country, where Namibia's greatest concentration of wildlife are found. She excitedly agreed and the two set off North.
The Etosha pan is a large endorheic (drainage) salt pan, forming part of the Kalahari Basin. The pan covers and area of 22 270 square km and is home to 114 different types of mammal species, 340 different birds, 110 different reptiles and 16 unique amphibians. Huges groups of wild animals, including desert elephant, lion. cheetah, leopard, zebra, wildebeest, hyaena, antelope, rhinocerous, giraffe all call this home.
Having led such a sheltered life, Wendy was in awe of the vast expanse of apparently dry and desolate landscape that was teeming with wildlife. Spud too, was amazed at the abundance of creatures, all wandering freely around them.
Wendy was so taken with the enormous herds of Springbok, she didn't heed the numerous warnings posted to remain in your vehicle. When Spud was busy photographing a White Rhino having a drink at the waterhole, his lovely lass slipped out of the 4x4 to get a closer look. By the time he realized it was too late.
A 3 ton African bull elephant casually lumbered past, revealing his dreamgirl; crushed into the parched desert floor underfoot.
Spud looked on in horror as her frothy golden lager lifeblood spilled out onto the thirsty Etosha salt pan; the tater's love, snuffed out like a discarded cigarette butt.
Devastated by his loss and perhaps his best chance for a true love, the tato didn't feel like doing any more sightseeing, and boarded a plane for the long flight home from Namibia.