Spud tends to be
a little paranoid around hot tubs...especially since a potato floating in boiling water is not
usually a good sign! When it comes to the warm, turquoise waters of the
Caribbean though, Spud can't resist the temptation to jump into the crystal
Ever since he was just a small fry, Spud dreamed of exploring the depths in the wake of his aquatic hero, Jacques Cousteau.
Living in Canada though has provided limited diving opportunities, unless you're into discovering empty beer bottles and rubber boots at the bottom of a lake.
Belize offers a vast diversity of marine life. From manatees to angel fish, groupers to yellowtail damselfish, manta rays to barracuda.
Aside from the amazing swimmers, the reef itself is a living palette of colourful brain and elkhorn coral, sea fans and gorgonians which line the countless grottoes, tunnels and canyons of the sea floor.
In addition, the Caribbean is also a graveyard to hundreds of old Spanish galleons which were swallowed whole by the sea - many with priceless treasures culled from the conquests of Central and South America during the 16th century.
Eager to find some of this lost treasure, Spud plunged into the inviting sea and dove down to search the ocean floor.
The great expanse of the underwater world opened up for the tater. An incredible amount of sea life darted through the water effortlessly, as if floating in mid air. Schools of fish swam by without a sound; the great silence broken only by the potato's air bubbles percolating through his breathing regulator.
Then Spud swore he heard the faint sound of a cello. The potato shrugged it off as a side effect from one too many Belikins from the night before.
The sounds of the cello strings continued though and increased in speed and volume. Obviously not getting enough air to his brain, Spud increased his intake on his regulator.
Suddenly the shadow of a huge pelagic shrouded the potato. Startled, Spud rolled over to see a 10 foot (3 metre) shark licking his lips as he eyed the tasty tater. Obviously looking for an alternative to seafood, the streamlined predator opened its enormous jaws to reveal three rows of meticulously maintained dental work which it was hoping to test out on the 'tato's golden skin.
Spud shrieked at the site of the dorsal-finned killing machine and rushed toward the surface. The shark was not about to let his entree get away and lunged at the frantic side dish.
The shark clasped onto the tuber's nose and ripped it out of the potato's head. In doing so, the great white broke a few teeth on the hard plastic proboscus. Wincing in pain, the shark spat Spud's nose out and scurried away.
The tater surfaced gasping for air. His body cavity was flooded and his rapid ascent had given way to 'the bends'. Spud would spend the remainder of his Belizean trip inside the cozy confines of a decompression chamber.