Spud
first went to Mexico in 1992 on
a bus with a group from Eloy, Arizona.
Their destination was the border town of Nogales to do some shopping for
bargains.
Spud's eyes popped clear out of his head when he saw how low the price
of tequila was and needless to say, he capitalized on the opportunity.
He awoke in an alley way four weeks later, not remembering his name, let alone where he was. His face had turned a brilliant purple and he had lost his camera and passport. Fortunately, he was able to make it across the border on a produce truck masquerading as an egg plant.
Spud
returned to Mexico in 1995 when he visited Juarez, another border town
neighbouring El Paso, Texas.
He was much more careful with Tequila consumption on this trip.
In March of 1997, Spud returned once again to Nogales. Shopping was once more the top of the list of things to do, but a ride on a burro could not be missed.
Spud
loved the deals that were to be had at the Mexican border towns, that
in March of 1998, he drove 8 hours to the town of Matamoros just to sample
the local delicacies and of course, more tequila. There were so many different
foods to choose from, that Spud was torn with decisions. There was shaved
prickly pear to be had, agave leaves and peppers… but he didn't just
want vegetables; he had to have meat! Finally getting the nerve (and the
300,000 pesos!) to order from a local street vendor, he obtained a pita-like
bread that was stuffed with chopped beef-like meat smothered in a spicy
red sauce and topped with onions, tomatoes and heaps of guacamole. Starving
for a good feed, he swallowed it down in a few monstrous gulps and washed
it down with what he assumed was lemonade. Soon after the ingesting, Spud
began to feel the effects of the over-indulgence. His insides churned
and the heat from the spice set his mouth (among other key areas) ablaze.
The pain Spud experienced held his intestines and taste buds hostage for
almost 9 solid hours. He also managed to visit every gas station rest
room from Matamoros to Houston.
January
of 1999 brought Spud down to his 4th border crossing; this time the infamous
Tijuana! Armed with a trunk full of cash, the tuber was bent on
finding a wealth of tacky porcelain clowns to bring home with him. He
was not disappointed as he found not only what he was searching for, but
a wealth of dead varnished frogs playing mandolins and an endless supply
of ceramic hogs practicing their mating positions.
The
frantic haggling for the goods brought on a voracious appetite that Spud
was apprehensive about quenching. He had had one too many bad experiences
in the past with Mexican food, but the hunger was too great. He
searched out what looked to be a respectable vendor and ordered up a harmless
taco. Spud hesitated when the cook was offering 3 for a dollar, but paid
the low price. The flies seemed to enjoy the pork as it roasted on the
spit, so it couldn't have been all bad. Much to his chagrin, Spud
brought intestinal cramps along with the rest of his souvenirs back over
the border with him.
