Spud traveled to Massachusetts in
December of 1999 in order to receive his honorary doctorate in Applied
Agriculture from Harvard University in Cambridge. The degree was a high
honour that Spud was deeply proud of - especially after being refused
admission to Oxford
University in 1987 on the grounds that he was a potato.
Even though he had already graduated from the Hampstead School of Legumes
in 1989, he was equally happy to be recognized once again by a prestigious
school such as Harvard.
To celebrate this marked occasion, Spud
decided to head into nearby Boston to the Bull & Finch pub (inspiration
for the long running hit TV series Cheers)
for a wobbley pop or two.
Much to his chagrin, the inside
of the pub didn't look a thing like the set used on television - nor
were there any celebrities on hand. Fortunately, the house draft beer
was mighty tasty (for American stuff) and Spud was sure to get his fill.
Ignoring warnings that he shouldn't drink
on an empty stomach, Spud wound up sucking back pint after pint of the
foamy nectar - claiming he doesn't even have a stomach! It didn't
take long for the plastic potato to wind up face down in his beer mumbling
show tunes. We're not sure if it was his incessant drooling or
his gurgled rendition of "Oklahoma!"
that finally forced the bar staff to escort him to the door.
After waking up on a
park bench in Boston Common the next morning, Spud's head was about
twice it's normal size. Agonizing with a brutal hangover and not a penny
to his name, he stumbled to the Congress Street Bridge for relief. Barely
able to stand, he jumped (with thermos in hand) into the Fort Point
Channel - site of the infamous Boston Tea Party
in the hopes of scooping himself out some of the historic beverage.
Needless to say, after 200+ years, the
tea may have steeped a little too long...either that or the additions
of petroleum, toxic waste, acid rain and sewage may have caused the
taste to be somewhat revolting.