Massachusetts
Spud traveled to Massachusetts in December
of 1999 in order to receive his honorary doctorate in Applied Agriculture
from Harvard University in Cambridge. The degree was a high honour that
Spud was deeply proud of - especially after being refused admission to
Oxford
University in 1987 on the grounds that he was a potato.
Even though he had already graduated from the Hampstead School
of Legumes in 1989, he was equally happy to be recognized once again by
a prestigious school such as Harvard.
To celebrate this marked occasion, Spud decided to head into nearby Boston to the Bull & Finch pub (inspiration for the long running hit TV series Cheers) for a wobbley pop or two.
Much to his chagrin, the inside of the pub didn't look a thing like the set used on television - nor were there any celebrities on hand. Fortunately, the house draft beer was mighty tasty (for American stuff) and Spud was sure to get his fill.
Ignoring
warnings that he shouldn't drink on an empty stomach, Spud wound up sucking
back pint after pint of the foamy nectar - claiming he doesn't even have
a stomach! It didn't take long for the plastic potato to wind up
face down in his beer mumbling show tunes. We're not sure if it
was his incessant drooling or his gurgled rendition of "Oklahoma!"
that finally forced the bar staff to escort him to the door.
After
waking up on a park bench in Boston Common the next morning, Spud's head
was about twice it's normal size. Agonizing with a brutal hangover and
not a penny to his name, he stumbled to the Congress Street Bridge for
relief. Barely able to stand, he jumped (with thermos in hand) into the
Fort Point Channel - site of the infamous Boston Tea Party
in the hopes of scooping himself out some of the historic beverage.
Needless to say, after 200+ years, the tea may have steeped a little too long...either that or the additions of petroleum, toxic waste, acid rain and sewage may have caused the taste to be somewhat revolting.
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