Race
day
When the NASCAR Winston Cup officials inspected Spud's car, they found that he had an illegal cooling system and hit him with a $5000 fine. Spud pleaded his case stating that the only reason he needed it was to keep the sour cream and butter pats refrigerated in his trunk. Unfortunately, the inspectors would not give in and Spud had to remove the system prior to the race.
Much to the other race teams' dismay, the inspection found no other problems with Spud's car, so his qualifying speed would stand. Spud was ecstatic - this was his first big race and he would be starting it from the pole position.
With
his car setup perfect, Spud went into town the night before the big race
leaving his competitors feverishly working away on their cars back at
the track.
The next morning began with Spud leading the field of 43 cars around the 2 mile oval track before a capacity crowd of about 160,000 fans. Many had traveled from all corners of the globe to see the tuber's inaugural race. He would not disappoint.
At the drop of the green flag the tuber charged out to an early lead with the likes of veterans Dale Earnhardt and Rusty Wallace struggling to keep him in their sight. Each time one of them got close, Spud 'dropped' some bacon bits out the back of his machine causing the 3500 pound stock cars to skid wildly out of control.
By
the time the race reached it's halfway point, Spud had already lapped
the field twice. The fans found themselves losing interest quickly and
began filing out of the track. Some of the competitors simply gave up
trying to catch the speedy side dish and simply parked their car back
in the garage.
At the end of the 400 miles, Spud was pursued only by veteran Dave Marcis who was ambling along 36 laps behind. As Spud took the checkered flag, he was surprised to find that the stands were empty except for an angry group of promoters and NASCAR executives. This was definitely not the fanfare he had expected.
Spud
pulled into victory circle and was presented with his winning cheque and
bottle of champagne. Unfortunately, that was it - there were no photographers,
no media and there would be no kiss from Miss Winston. Spud had 'stunk
up the show' by beating all the others so easily, and there were many
folks that weren't too happy with him. Sponsors were threatening to pull
out of the series and TV ratings had nose-dived.
None were angered more than NASCAR president Bill France Sr. who glared back at the tuber with fire in his eyes. France had to get rid of the potato...and quickly. He lurched at the tater wielding a masher in his left hand. Spud narrowly escaped by jumping back into his car. The crazed exec dived for the yam again, but Spud stood on the gas pedal and roared away.
Maybe stock car racing isn't for potatoes after all...
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