many weeks preparing for his first trip to the cotton fields of the
American South. His training regimen consisted of 3 square meals daily
of grits and biscuits with a 6pack of BUD. To help him adjust to the
cultural differences and the language barrier, he subjected himself
to marathon screenings of "Deliverance" and "The Dukes
of Hazzard". Finally, he was ready to venture to Georgia - home
of the peach and Billy beer!
Eager to immerse himself in
the history of the great state, Spud had to visit the famed granite
rock of epic proportion: Stone Mountain. The 825 foot high pebble was
home to the world's largest bas relief carving - a memorial to the Confederates
from the civil war. The sculpture of Jefferson Davis, Robert E. Lee
and Stonewall Jackson measured 90' X 190' and was truly a marvel to
behold. In inspecting the detail of the work, Spud noticed that Davis
appeared to have a large growth visible inside his left nostril. Knowing
that millions travel to see the carving, the tuber brought the anomaly
to the attention of the park wardens so that the growth could be 'picked'
The park officials accosted the well-meaning
potato, citing him a 'troublemaker' and had him forcibly removed from
the area. News of the assault traveled quickly to the offices of media
giant CNN in nearby Atlanta. A
crack team of reporters assigned to the story rallied to Spud's cause
and applied pressure to park maintenance crews to 'take care'
of the nasal invasion.
Not wanting any unwelcome press, Stone
Mountain officials remedied the situation and the anomaly was removed
from Davis' nose.
to Spud's next adventure in the land o'stills & shine