A Potato Wedding
After entering the hallowed halls of the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, the couple were greeted by no other than Elvis (circa 1965).
The 'KING' ushered the tubers into the cosy chapel and Beatrice pulled out a marriage certificate from the compartment in the back of her head. Spud stumbled about as his head continued to spin uncontrollably with the effects of his cocktail indulgence.
As Elvis proceeded to perform the wedding ceremony, Spud remained oblivious, preferring instead to count the chest hair protruding from the King's jumpsuit.
When the ceremony called for the rings, Beatrice once again was quick to produce a couple of wedding bands. She forced one onto Spud's finger as he teetered unsteadily before placing her own on.
The Rock n' Roll icon then asked the couple for their vows of commitment. Beatrice was quick to answer and pledge her love to Spud.
Barely coherent, when Spud was asked for his vow, the tuber thought he was being asked if he needed to go to the bathroom; he replied "I do".
With that, Beatrice lunged at Spud with a flying liplock to seal the deal. Spud recoiled with a belch and then passed out on the altar.
Flashbulbs lit up the chapel as Elvis broke into a heart-wrenching version of 'Love Me Tender'. He followed it up with a surly version of 'Don't be Cruel' complete with the usual array of pelvic thrusts and sneering. There was not a dry eye in sight. Except Spud....his were bloodshot.