gets full of hot air
As Spud's website
was closing in on its 100,000th visitor, the potato racked his brain
trying to think of some special way in which to mark the occasion.
With the popularity
of his website growing exponentially across the globe over the past
year, Spud had become somewhat of an international celebrity. As he
traveled from country to country, the tater was mobbed by thousands
scurrying to get a glimpse of the famous potato. In fact, his celebrity
had grown to be on par with that of major world leaders. All of this
publicity fed the tuber's immense ego and provided the inspiration for
how Spud would celebrate his new found 'presidential-like' status. The
'tato commissioned the Cameron Balloon Company of England to construct
an enormous monument to himself: a 100 foot tall balloon, and like most
world leaders, it was completefly filled with hot air.
for months, the gigantic 590lb (268kg) airship was finally finished
and ready for its maiden voyage. For the vessel's first flight, Spud
thought it was only appropriate for it to take place at the world's
largest gathering of hot air balloons: The Albuquerque
International Balloon Fiesta in New Mexico, USA.
The Fiesta attracts
millions of visitors each year to see the 750+ balloons that attend
from each corner of the globe. In anticipation of the 'Super
Spud's launch, extra security had to be called in to corral
The massive envelope
of the balloon was unfurled onto the field. There was so much fabric
spread out it looked like the floor of Roseanne Barr's bedroom. The
tater fired up the 25 million BTU propane burners and the mammoth starchy
tuber rose to life.
The crowd cheered
as Spud climbed into the tiny basket beneath the collosal dirigeable.
Concerned about possible damage that could be caused from christening
his new airship by smashing a bottle of champagne on it, Spud elected
to drink the bottle of bubbly instead.
A little light-headed,
the tater blasted the propane jets one last time into Super Spud's innards
and the 10 storey side-dish lifted off into the wild blue yonder. Spud
was amazed how the giant ballon was able to keep a smile on his face
with an 800 degree flame being shot up his rear end.
As the tuber continued
to rise gracefully into the sunny New Mexican sky, it soon dawned on
Spud that he had never flown a hot air ballon before. The potato looked
around feverishly for a steering wheel and brake pedal but none were
to be had. Instead, he found nothing more than a wicker basket filled
with 45 gallons of highly flammable fuel that was floating aimlessly
enroute to the heavens.
panic-striken, the potato scrambled to look for some way to bring the
runaway balloon back to terra firma. The tater stopped the burners but
the warm New Mexico air currents continued to drive the airship upward.
Soon it became apparent that there was no stopping this hot air carbohydrate
from rocketing toward what appeared to be: outer space.
Teetering on hysteria,
Spud felt his only option was to abandon ship or risk winding up as
an extra in the next Star Trek movie. Fearing the thought of working
with William Shatner was a fate worse than death, the tuber strapped
on his parachute and leaped from the basket toward the safe confines
The Giant Potato
continued its ascent toward the stars without a pilot, as Spud expertly
navigated his canopy back to the ground. The tater looked up at his
giant monument just in time to see it disappear into the cobalt sky
forever...his self-glorifying memorial had become a contribution to
the space program.
See more adventures in
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